Hey Everyone!
As we power through the LAST month of the year, I wanted to share a random but ongoing reflection I have been processing. I know it has been a minute since I last wrote a post and to be honest, I have had a few blog posts ‘ready’ to be made live, but they have been sitting in the drafts. I would be lying if I said I have been feeling encouraged, inspired and motivated in the last couple of weeks!
I know a lot of us talk about healing and I am pretty sure I have written about this before. A part of me was quite hesitant writing this because I didn’t want to feel like 1. I was repeating myself and 2. rinsing out this topic. But, I realised that we are always going to be healing a part of ourselves throughout this thing called life. We are all healing from something and healing shouldn’t be a one-off topic to be discussed. It should be continuously spoken about in all contexts as it is something we have or will encounter in any and every stage of our lives.
Love/hate relationship:
Anyway, I want to share another piece of my soul, to put words to the silent struggles that often accompany the healing journey. It’s been around two years since I embarked on this path, and let me tell you, it’s far from the picturesque voyage I once envisioned. Healing is not a linear progression; it’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows that leaves me both exhausted and frustrated. I hate it. I love it. It is ghetto and has been even more ghetto in the last couple of weeks.
Unconvincingly convinced:
There are moments when I convince myself I’ve conquered the demons of the past, that forgiveness and letting go have sewn a sturdy armour around my heart. But life has a sneaky way of throwing unexpected triggers in my path, pulling me back into the undertow of emotions that I thought were long buried. It’s disheartening to realize that some wounds, even when seemingly healed, can still pulse with pain when prodded.
I’m diligently working on nurturing my inner ‘broken’ child, tending to the scars left by traumas inflicted by family, friends, strangers, and even the animals (I have been traumatized on behalf of other people and their experiences LOL) that have crossed my path. Each scar tells a story, a testament to the resilience required to process the diverse seasons of life. Yet, just as I feel like I’m making strides, an unforeseen trigger emerges, leaving me to take not just a step back but sometimes a giant leap into a space more challenging than where I began.
This journey is a testament to the strength it takes to confront the ghosts of the past continually. It’s exhausting, testing the limits of my endurance and challenging my faith in the process. There are days when it’s difficult to see the bigger picture, to believe that the pain has a purpose beyond the immediate sting.
Courage:
But amid this vulnerability and frustration, I’m learning that healing is not about the absence of struggle but rather the courage to face it head-on. It’s about acknowledging the setbacks, honouring the pain, and finding the strength to rise again. There’s an undeniable beauty in the resilience that surfaces amidst the chaos an exemplification of the indomitable spirit within.
So, as I navigate this complex journey, I share my truth not as a plea for sympathy but as a call for understanding. Healing is messy, and the path is riddled with unexpected potholes. Yet, in sharing our stories, we build bridges of empathy and solidarity, reminding ourselves and others that we’re not alone in this arduous yet transformative journey.
With gratitude for your listening heart,
Sianne xo
P.S – I might make a healing series and go through some personal stories and talk about the impact and how I have or am overcoming it. Still decicing but let me know what you think – yay or nay?
Transparency Talks Truth 