I hope you all are having a lovely week! This is another End Of Month’s Evaluation. And this month taught me a lot about being grateful and appreciative.
DISCLAIMER: May contain sensitive and triggering content!
My journey to university wasn’t as expected. I went through clearing (a system in the UK where you apply to vacant university places after A-level results come out. It is often used by students who miss out on their firm and insurance choice of university due to not getting their desired grades) which was one of the most unexpected outcomes I had. It wasn’t like I was failing A-Levels. I was doing pretty well. But in the end, although I didn’t exactly fail, I didn’t get the best grades or the grades I was achieving before the exams. Adding on to that, it hurt more when I didn’t get into the university that I initially had no desire to go to. I chose it as my firm out of pressure from others.
Before that, I was already struggling mentally and emotionally with a lot of things that birthed doubts about going to university and actually pursuing a career. I literally had no hope for myself or the future. I had little to no confidence. I had little to no positivity during my secondary and 6th form college years. I had little to no encouragement nor faith in myself, my capabilities and my future.
I remember telling my mum I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go anymore. I remember telling her I was such a disappointment and a disgrace and that she, my dad and my siblings should be embarrassed because I believed I was an embarrassment.
Then God came around and placed me at the university he chose for me. Yes, it wasn’t what I wanted nor what I expected but fast-forward to now, it was what I needed. I have made so much progress, grown and achieved more than I thought I would.
My university years, it was a lonely experience, especially in the first year when I moved out. I met a variety of people, some of who gave me a hard time that it got to a point where I was barely in my university accommodation because I couldn’t cope with the negativity, bitterness, loneliness and drama.
I remember there was a time when I would always put other people first and help them in their academia. But the question was… did I have anyone supporting me? As I was supporting others, who were excelling – not only did they pass, but they also got better grades than me, whilst I was there achieving average grades that were extremely above a pass but could have been better.
And that destroyed me and my confidence because It genuinely felt like I was unappreciated and forgotten. After all, I had given them what they wanted and needed from me, without receiving courtesy or at least, gratitude and acknowledgement.
I had written drafts of emails to my lecturers, preparing them for another student dropout.
I had lost a lot of weight.
I had lost a few friends.
I had made A LOT of sacrifices, which included my social life.
I had become depressed and suicidal.
I almost lost myself in the process.
I cried to my mum telling her that I wasn’t sure if I could finish this degree.
I cried to some of my friends telling them that I felt like a complete loser and a burden to them.
I was very frustrated with myself and God because there was so much that was occurring all at once that I struggled to manage and grasp. Everything felt impossible. Everything felt like a battle and a war. It was as if I was stuck between two different worlds.
But as I cried out to God for help, strength and grace, he delivered at his own pace. I had lost some friends that weren’t serving me and it worked out for the greater good because he placed the right people in my life that I will always be grateful. And he constantly reminded me of my close family who loved and believed in me. All of those people were rooting for me.
My closest and best friends and family have been the most incredible support system I could ask for. They hyped me up and loved me through all the process and through my ups and downs.🥺🤗🥰 And it is so beautiful to look back and be thankful and appreciative because IT WAS NOT EASY AT ALL!
But I am here to reintroduce you all to a whole new nursing graduate!👩🏽🎓👩🏽⚕️
C L A S S O F 2 0 2 1!🥳🎉🔥🥰
All I can really say is that God is SOOOOOO good. He is SO perfect! He really completed the assignment for me. I just had to trust in him. And I thank him for it 🙌🏽🙌🏽😭😭
Not only did he bring me this far and not only did I graduate and finish exceptionally well, but he has also helped shape me into the person I am now. And although some of the things I went through did not make sense nor did I or would I understand, it all happened for a reason. I am grateful for everything because I wouldn’t be where and who I am today. 🔥💪🏽
I won an award from my university as “the Most Inspirational Student Nurse of the Year for CYP (Children and Young People)” and have been shortlisted for two national nursing awards at the SNTA (Student Nursing Times Award)
But now, as God saw fit, I am a whole RN!
Not only have I made my loved ones around me proud, but I have also made MYSELF very proud – I know God is not yet finished with me.❤️💛💚
THANK YOU, EVERYONE… And most importantly, I thank GOD 🙌🏽😭
Onto greater and better things in the future and in life!💯💯😜🥳😏
More celebrations to come!!!🎉🎉💃🏽💃🏽
Transparency Talks Truth 