2. Honesty

HEY EVERYONE! This is a very late and last-minute post *shakes my head* but I promised myself I would post an ‘end of month evaluation’ before the next month!
I hope you all are blessed! And I hope you all had a decent August!
My August has been very overwhelming and so jampacked – I can’t even remember the last time I took a proper break!

This month’s topic is ‘honesty’ as stated in the title!

“Be honest with yourself” is something I told myself I was always going to consciously do. But truth be told, I struggle with being honest, especially with myself.

I have noticed that some people throw the word “honest” so loosely but do not understand the power the word alone holds.

To be honest means to be sincere, truthful and straightforward. The question is – are you always like that with others? Most importantly, are you always like that with yourself?
I knew that I was going to be behind schedule this week – hence why this particular blog post was written late and posted late.

“Say what you mean and mean what you say!”

“Mean what you say” correlates to being consistent with what you say (your words) and subsequent related behaviour or actions. This means what you say implies that you can accurately and truthfully carry through with what you set yourself up for when you actually “say what you mean”. In other words, “I speak my mind” is ultimately the term it boils down to. You blatantly put things direct and frank without cutting corners.”

Although this month has been crazy busy and overwhelming, one thing I told myself that I was going to make sure of was that before this month runs out, I must write another topic for the ‘end of month evaluation’. This drive was specifically because I made it an intention to write a reflection at the end of every month (it is the main purpose) and also because there was a period where I lacked consistency with posting new topics.
Again – this is me being honest with myself. I have been inconsistent with my posts and that is something I had to admit and accept.

If I am going to get candid with you all, I have to be real and open.
What I noticed about myself is that I love to hide behind a facade. I always convince myself of things that I know aren’t real or true and I sometimes just choose to live behind the wall of denial.
I sometimes refuse to tell myself the truth because being in denial doesn’t allow me to accept the evidence in front of me. In plain words, It doesn’t allow me the room to take accountability for my actions and decisions. And the feeling of being in pure bliss and ignorance only lasts for a short while before the realities of life start to become more apparent and prominent.

What are some of the things I had to come clean with and be honest about myself?

– I (sometimes, if not most times) spread myself thin
– I am not always organised
– I am too hard on myself
– I still have my insecurities I have not yet overcome
– I struggle
– I am not always appreciative of the smallest things
– I am not superwoman (I need to stop pretending like I can do everything by myself, without any struggles)
– I cannot control everything. Some things are beyond me and are out of my grasp.
– I need to stop running away from my problems
– I need to stop pretending that everything is perfect
– I need to learn to face my fears
– I need to call out things for what they are

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…

I need to give myself a damn break!

Once you start being true to yourself and allow yourself to have those honest conversations with yourself (that may I add, may be painful and overwhelming to bear), you will slowly but surely start to find that things become much smoother to manage and deal with. This is because rather than hiding behind the wall of denial and sitting in your problems, you can tackle what you already know.

Learn the art of speaking your truth – whether it is with yourself or others. Sometimes it looks like the cost is pricey, but it is not worth the guilt, pain, burden and frustration that dishonesty comes with.

Much love 🙂